I can feel me or him (Giggles I call him), or both ready, wanting, we can move forward. I want to do so also, I think it is regardless, which is good. Energy wants to flow! Let it!
(These journal posts are my own writing and processing as I do inner and shadow work. I use elements of NLP during, hence I may seem to loop and repeat things. I only post online the parts I think others might find useful.)
(more…)I am tired of that feeling in the dreams where everything I do gets ‘sucked up’ into other peoples lives or they do their own thing with it, usually to the detriment of my plan/desire and the health of the things itself. (In last nights case, my brothers sudden desire to place my small aquarium fish in the huge pond leading to the feeding of the larger pond fish when I wanted to separate them out between my old and larger new aquarium).
(more…)Good idea, though when people I havent seen for a while and ask me how I am and I say ‘same as’.. is that really true? Inside I have improved, a lot!…
Read MoreOk, there it it. I even gave it a heading to set the intent.
This is the closing chapter of the test and trials I and We have been undergoing.
We have been placed into the complete opposition of what we were hoping to move into and become. Why was this? Did we know? Maybe this IS the path to get there? Though if that was the case then why a test or trial first? To see if we are ready? Surely that isn’t needed as if you are ready you would simply be and who would test us? Who has the right to doubt or need to deem us worthy except ourselves and our judgement OF ourselves and each other?
(more…)So really, as I see of me, is the same I see of him.. just his avatar in this reality of form. An indirect expression in a sense. T is what my Partner is experiencing and expressing himself as, but its not him. As its me. Both my experience expressions. Its me in another experience and expression of/as me. That sounds about right.. there had been this feeling of not quite getting it yet.. but that seems to just about hit the nail on the head.
(more…)Was just doing the daily tarot and when I asked ‘for me’ I realised that ‘me’ is actually only this Experience. Then the cards fell out. King of Coins , with a…
Read MoreSo a message about this: Have FAITH, belief, trust, what seems to be lacking, out in the cold, destitute, there will be a harvest of everything you appear to be lacking, it…
Read MoreSpeaking to Loz I realised that my ‘knowing’ I should feel something.. is most likely coming from my memories/past of feeling this him/connection/feeling. Back then it was normal to feel it all, yet now, is not then. Thinking, feeling I SHOULD be feeling/aware of this is what is causing me this black hole where there appears to be something ‘missing’ which is giving me the pain and loss, loneliness and why I comfort myself!
(more…)As it sets in, your limbs start to feel heavy, like it is suddenly becoming a burden, this thing that no longer seems to serve any value. A sense of hopelessness starts to set in as an inward sigh of resignation sounds.
You know there is no point in doing it yet again, yet what else is there? There is a sense of duty, that even though you know its pointless, its what you need/should/have to do…. or even ‘might as well, its not like there is anything else’.
(more…)This has come around a few times for me. Should I be making this blog open to the public or should it be private?
I can see pro’s and con’s for both yet today it has hit me again.Part of me feels it should not be up for just anyone to read and immediately calls for me to hit the ‘private’ button before turning my attention to youtube. I went half way and hit the button for asking search engines to not list it. Yeah, maybe not THE best ‘cop out’ though, though its a half way point until I resolve this.
(more…)
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