Individual vs Shared Reality. Consciousness vs Dream.

I am tired of that feeling in the dreams where everything I do gets ‘sucked up’ into other peoples lives or they do their own thing with it, usually to the detriment of my plan/desire and the health of the things itself. (In last nights case, my brothers sudden desire to place my small aquarium fish in the huge pond leading to the feeding of the larger pond fish when I wanted to separate them out between my old and larger new aquarium).

They do what they want regardless if it is harmful to the thing itself, they dont know or care. Plus I lose something I was planning and excited about doing. Something I care for and about.

Basically, something that was ‘mine’ becomes someone elses. Whether it is a thing, something to do, private space or privacy itself.

It is things that are apart of my life, by default, exist in others lives thus they take it over because my life is actually existing in/with/part of theirs.

Hence I wanna ‘get out’ and have my own life, space without that ‘meddling’. So that is were that partly comes from, I want my own sphere, same with dreams of my room and no privacy, others meddling like it is their right…

Though.. this is separation isnt it?

My space, my life, my right. It is my sphere, my separate life to yours.

Dont invade my space or touch the things within it. That is what this is. Though isnt this Experience all about that ‘me space’? The Self experience, self life, self reality? Individual independence…

Isnt being independent all about your own self space, life and stuff? yet on the other hand it is integration, union, oneness.. another dual-faced concept in spirituality. Independence, own reality, personal power vs unity, oneness, collective… which is it?

I want my space, with my things, privacy to be alone with no one to meddle how I want things, in my dreams. In life I dont have that either, however I dont have people meddling with my things, my room is my space. I have privacy in my room… not enough though, it is A room. I dont think this is a physical thing though. This is a mental and emotional internal boundary.

Mental space vs physical space… vs reality?

When I asked for the lesson answer here I heard ‘It isnt ours’

I understand what it means yet internally it feels the opposite. My idea of space, privacy, my stuff, my plan/right to do things doesnt exist outside of myself. Just like my brothers want to move the aquariums was his inner want. In physical space, the thing itself, it belongs to no one and no one had rights. What happened was open to anyone. Same for the physical space, ‘privacy’. They are internal things outwardly agreed upon with another individual to outwardly create/manifest an ‘illusion’ of a physical boundary, the same with ‘possession’ and ‘ownership’. Things everyone is taught to accept and agree to creating (most anyway!).

So I/we dont have right to/over anything because nothing is ours anyway. That includes mental concepts of ‘my’, privacy, ownership, its mines so its my decision what to do with it and to do it myself.

So my reason for wanting to get into life to leave is pointless as nothing will change really. As it is all inside anyway, yet nothing will remain ‘mine’ as physical objects arnt ‘mine’ and ownership is only internal. ‘Right’ is only internal. ‘Mine’ only exists in me… and everyone has their own inside, trying to divvy up what is theirs and in their control thus they have the rights to say, do what they want.. when in the ‘shared reality’ that isnt the truth.

Individual internal realities trying to exist in a shared reality. ‘Shared’.. clue there.. yet still trying to life their individual reality in it. There is a recipe for conflict!

Individual reality in a share reality…

It is like we live in a limited bubble alone whilst trying to live in a shared space that in reality, we cant touch or interact with. (think of each person running around in a bubble they cant reach beyond) We can only interact with our own bubble. In our own bubble is our sense of ‘my’, privacy, space, alone yet it seems like so many others also invade it with their own, at the the same time.

Is this due to having our own individual reality whilst sharing one at the same time? Is this individual reality what creates the ‘my’? This, that feels like ‘me’? Thus seemingly spreading its own ‘me sphere’ over shared reality like a light… or is ‘me sphere’ my individual reality that can have any shared reality that is light falls upon?

Initial perspective is that I am in a larger, shared reality, thus shared reality is beyond/surrounding my own, but what if that isnt the case?

What if ‘me’ individual reality is in fact no-where and can tune into whatever reality it likes, shared or otherwise?

What if that me-sphere is Consciousness that is beyond any reality that is shared, that is and can be anywhere, any time,.. this my individual reality IS consciousness thus it all feels like me, belongs to me, I have right, say… yet I am mistaking and projecting that onto the shared reality via the me projected into that shared reality..

So reality is both fluid and fixed. Shared reality is fixed (world etc) , yet individual reality is also fixed. However the individual reality is fixed because it is no-where, it is a space in no-space and within the individual reality, is fluid, it can change realities internally as it likes.

Consciousness = fixed individual reality

‘Shared’ reality = appears in the fluid space within Individual reality (consciousness)

So there is NO individual reality space.. in shared reality.

Hence shared reality IS the dream of the Consciousness!

Hence there is this feel of ‘I’ everywhere yet nothing belongs to anyone. We all control/are our own Individual Reality/Consciousness, yet we try to exercise that control over things, reality, people in the shared dream reality, unaware of the actual truth of what is going on. That is what I am trying to do (and, hence, failing). Regain my Individual Reality/Consciousness back from the Shared Dream, but trying to do it IN the shared dream itself.

Which obviously wont work.

So what is it I am wanting to do exactly?

Regain my individual consciousess whilst living in a shared dream. Where as before, I thought I was part of the shared and there wasnt anything else. So I am trying to exercises my individual reality, in the shared,,, that wont work, as shared is IN my indivdual reality,,, not the other way around

So what I am sensing is me outside the ‘shared dream’, beyond the dream. Dream self (me) and the dream shared.

This shared dream, belongs to no-one… that makes so much sense now! Everything in it to, including my body, life, space etc.

As for sense of self… dream self and dreaming self. Do I know the difference yet?