Higher Self, Self, I, Human. Letting go Ownership of Ascension

Me, myself and I.

I feel that state and energy around me today. The shuffling of being uncomfortable suddenly and needing to slightly re-adjust something. Like too tight jeans that are pinching.

This is following a feeling of searching a quick talk with my tarot and I realised that all my ‘work’ was never for me, the Self. I was made to be/do the work. You could even say ‘is’ the work. Either way, I accept it may never do anything for me, or have been for me to start with.

A few years ago I felt that and I complained. I accept it now though. I came here to do/be the work, it was and is important enough for that. So it is important work that ‘someone’ needs so I will continue to do it until it leads to the disappearance/end/change/death of me. There is nothing else I can do. Oddly I feel ok with that.

I never saw the point of doing it if someone else saw the benefit. I would complain and moan, though I never stopped really.

More ‘Self/I-ness’ really. For me, to me etc. I can inside somehow see this… gap.. between Self/me and something else. It seems like it is needed, I understand it in a non-mental way and its good. So happy to keep going with it.

I feel this is the next step. Oddly feels..like it was always going to be, which is ok.

Actually, I can see a lot of ‘issues’ moving away with it. This is good. Will just keep doing what I am here to do, all of it. What I am here for, what I am needed for, my part and ‘role’. My purpose. I will do it with respect and responsibility for the overall process and my work n the whole, not just for myself.

Therefore I let go and willingly and realise this was never about ‘me’ or myself, just for my, my own that I possess and gain. It is simply what I do and I shall do my work, in this place for whom/what ever sent/made me here to the best of my ability and willingly, at the end, give it to who/what it is for and even myself, should that be part of the process itself.

So I need to keep myself out of it. Like the human/physical me, I don’t see its part in it, well, same with inner me. I am not it, I am doing the work, it is not me or mine so I need to stop owning, trying to keep or possess it all, ‘use’ it on and for myself etc and just ‘do’ it.

I have been wondering about the ‘I’, letting go etc. It seems to be a bit clearer now.

I guess it is the same with living, manifesting in the world, reality, energy, feeling… not for the I, not for me, not by me, but for and by that which this work is for or given by.

I am not alive, living for me to own or possess, or for my own sake or gain, it is my work to do, to be that process alone.

Not anything I have been told or lead to believe here. What I think, expect, believe my life to be, have, do even my own existence, is wrong and part of the old ways which I am happy to let go.

They were ok at the time. Though now isn’t then and now, they no longer work or fit or match or can exist, I can’t exist in those ways anymore.

Part of my process. I can do this, I am doing this. I will do this, I will give myself to this if need be.

Oddly, these words, I see, I write, I wonder, they don’t feel like me. Is this real? Me? The ‘I’? The illusion? Or is this the truth behind it?

I am realising that at some point, I ceased to be the one working on the process and became the process itself. So no, there is no more process for ‘me’ to do. So what does that mean for me?

There is no more for me to do? There is no more of me to process? There is nothing fo me to do? There is nothing for me to be? There is nothing for me at all?

I am floating in nothing. What is this ‘I’? A point in nothing? Do I even own or possess a self? Am I actually another? At this point I don’t really care or have a preference. Just an open minded pondering, Nothing here was mine or for me. Nothing is actually me. So where am I? What am/is this ‘I’? Am I really existing at all or just an ember in a forge left to go out?

Is the process passed to another or is it left to ‘cool’? Solidify, transform, disappear? If nothing was for me, was I created for me? Or am I yet another thing I think I am, I own, another thing for me, that is in fact for another? Have I mistakenly laid claim to myself? No negative feelings here at the idea of this. Just genuine curiosity.

Over mistakenly thinking I own myself and I am here for my own reason, have I created this ‘I’ I now am referring to myself as. Did ‘I’ or another create this ‘I’ for this process, is the ‘I’ the process, the one created to work the process for the other?

If so, is this ‘I’, AM I, needed anymore?

Do I remain whilst the process continues else where or continues on me though by another?

Basically, just trying to work out the next step. Assuming my work on/as the process is finished that is. If not I will carry on. Until such a time.

How bizarre ‘I’ with a third person feeling to it. Nothing I have ever been aware of is for myself. That leave the I. THe I is more that awareness. ‘Self awareness’ as its known. So in losing the ‘I’, do I gain ‘self realisation’? ‘Self here meaning the ‘true’ self, higher, divine, source angelic self. So this would mean they are my creator? As in they created me, the ‘I’? or is the ‘I’ the result of being born ‘here’? If so, is that still human me, the I, going through the process? Or are humans the process? Where does the Higher Self, Self, I and human exist? What are the differences? Which are real? Which am I? Self – false self is no more. The human? A creation of the collective mental False Self element. So no human, no false self. The I? is this another result of awareness on earth? Is the I the mistaken mental/emotional/physical element of the awareness whilst here? So is the I a single point of illusion? Am I yet another illusion to process? The last brick of the whole illusionary building?

Then, does awareness return to the Divine, higher aspects?

If I exist in an awareness…’IN’.. then am I not like the false self that existed in me? Thought was me? So then is this ‘I’, AM  I,  not another false sense of myself? What I ‘think’ is me, when in fact it isn’t? Is self-awareness, awareness of the ‘I’ or what is beyond it? I feel the ‘I’ is another internal construct within the ‘awareness’ of something/one greater.

I, me, is another construct within the awareness of a greater being. HA!

As I have had my programs to let go of, false, old ideas, self etc… I am yet one myself, the false, dreaming self of a greater self.

That is ok. It’s quite amusing and ironic.

Something/one with the state of believing ‘it’ is an ‘I’, whatever that means to it.

Made, (‘maybe’ I meant to write, not ‘made’…) to be here for this purpose or any other on that greater layer? No matter. Will do as is needed as always.

Question is… who unravels me? The greater or another? Can I unravel me? Is the ‘I’ a form, created from living here/amnesia? If so, that would mean that greater being IS here. Just under the old belief of ‘I’ still.

Rather than being on a greater level….

The ‘I’…. The ‘what’.

The barrier, the limiter. The ‘small world’. The ‘dream’.

If ‘I is approached like the rest, a mental program, then what? It floated into my mind:

‘I am a universal conscious being’

Not sure but I think ‘universal’ and ‘conscious’ seemed to overlap itself.

So the ‘I’ is like a false I? (like the false self?)