Self Update

Been a while since I did any updates, so here they are, spread over a few articles for easy of readings!

The ‘Self’ I became aware of, during my self-realisation in my previous post (Soul Connection Update), was never what I always thought the self to be. I thought I was the self, this awareness of ‘me’. Not the body or mind but my self-awareness. Yeah, I was wrong :0

I asked to dream of this Self that night, to met myself for the first time. I was determined not to let myself slide out of it. Oh yes… self appeared!

‘Self’ turned out to be a blonde hair man that has been appearing in my dreams since my late teens. He was who I looked for in my dreams, knowing that if I saw him, he would immediately turn to look at me, somehow knowing exactly where I was. He would smile, wave and make his way over where he would throw an arm around me shoulder and lead me away from the crowd. I know then the dream wouldn’t turn into a nightmare.

Once, I said to myself, ‘OK, I am going to ask him straight up..’Are you who I think  you are’. Great I thought.. I wont sit back and go along with this. So that night he appeared and I asked him the question…

‘yes’

he said.. with a knowing grin as we walked along the ghost of my old school, his arm slung over my shoulder as we slowly walked through the dream.  I noticed his smile then its reason hit me …’Who is it, I am asking, if it is him?’. *facepalm*. Self, Twin, ‘Gavin’…

This guy was too smart, too aware to be a dream character.

In the requested meeting just this week, he turned up lounging on the bed, I lounged with him and he told me he just needed a few days, then he could join me. He had often left and come back into my ‘dream life’ over the past 20 years, to the point it was almost like a twin flame stage experience all in itself. I said I wanted him to.. if he was sure this time. I was tired of being constant left alone for months. I could tell it was actually him, I was lucid and knew what he was saying, what he was talking about.

It was almost like he was running back to me at every opportunity he had, even when he wasn’t supposed to be with me… and subsequently running off at a moment notice.  He actually mentioned this one dream a few years ago, that he wasn’t meant to be here and could get me into trouble.

I have also come to realise, that this is the same man that I met during an astral travel many years ago, whom I actually feel fully in love with. yeah sounds strange, but I feel in love with a man I met in the astral. Not only fell in love, but we had the whole energy surge and realistion at the same time. I tried to go back there the following night.. but as I was aware of it… I never saw him again. Turns out I see him quite often!!!