I have often gone ahead with the common beliefs that to awaken to oneself is to remember. Yet I can safely say that remembering has nothing to do with it.
I have spent the last 5 years with the remembering concept in mind, meditating, intending to open and remember my true self, my divine self.
Well… that was wrong!
Energy does not hold memories. Energy is not a linear organ like the brain that records with memory patterns of what is or used to be. Energy simply is ALL the time. There is no past or information or concepts stored, it simply is aware of what it is.
Two nights ago I was waiting to sleep and I was asking myself questions. I often hear a thought pop up that I do not create, sometimes random, sometimes to me directly in answer and this night it was particularly clear flowing. I do not remember the whole of it though I was able to pose a question, hear the answer, think on it and ask another, hear the reply. This is quite new as usually I hear a reply once, then nothing else.
Basically, the end of the conversation it went something like this:
Me: ‘What is the point of my isolation?’
Thought : ‘direction’
Me: ‘direction to what, what to do, learn, look for?’
Thought: ‘Learning’
Me: ‘What is it I am meant to be learning’
Thought: ‘I am’
I thought on this for a short while, realising this was the Higher Self, the True Self, the Soul. To learn about the ‘I am’, which is a term and concept I never really went with. To come to earth and be able to learn about the ‘I AM Presence’ is to be separated from ones own Presence. Most have heard of the ‘observer’ that watches us.. though I realised that is only the half of the story, the rest of the lesson is to observe the observer.
A lot suddenly made sense. I was in isolation to be made to be alone with myself and my presence. I had a good chuckle and heard ‘I think that is enough for tonight’ and I agreed. It was a short lesson though I felt like I had truly made the progress I was here to make. Short, sweet and easy flowing.
I was still thinking on it, expanding my understanding (wasnt easy not to) when I felt an energy pop up all around me.. and it was me! My Soul, I AM Presence. It was pure energy though somehow I was already full integrated. I could ‘feel’ what I was. I put them into words, I am sure I lost some in translation, though being in a human body, it’s all part of the observation I guess!
I felt this energy fall into my heart and spread down to my solar, rather than I was being cut open.
It took me two days to understand that, I wasnt remembering.. it was nothing remotely like remembering. I was simply suddenly aware of what I was, what I always had been, it was just out of my awareness.
