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So really, as I see of me, is the same I see of him.. just his avatar in this reality of form. An indirect expression in a sense. T is what my Partner is experiencing and expressing himself as, but its not him. As its me. Both my experience expressions. Its me in another experience and expression of/as me. That sounds about right.. there had been this feeling of not quite getting it yet.. but that seems to just about hit the nail on the head.
So, I know this truth beyond the initial physical/3d/human matter, that that doesn’t mean I should ignore these current experiences as self. I still answer to my mine, so part of me is unsure how to perceive him. I guess it’s a case of rejigging the concept and understandings around.
We are both expressions of the same consciousness that is having two different and separate experiences.
So why the pull of the ‘him’
So myself is what I am experiencing as being, whilst experiencing this conscious reality Experience. Yet this consciousness is currently experiencing two separate realities of consciousness, each with its own self it is experiencing that reality as and through. That’s is closer still.
Though how much has changed due to my awaresness?
At first there was the form, then the self then consciousness/awareness, which is were I am now.
So forms (bodies/3d physical) were separate, yet I now know how they arnt separate, it is only the illusion of form only awareness, that brings about that illusion of separation. So our bodies are not separate. Physical separation illusion.
The selves seemed separate, him and me, the two of us.. though now I know that whilst there are two ‘selves’ (L & T) they are not separate, they are actually connected in the fact they are both existing within the same consciousness/energy being. Self-separation illusion
The consciousness reality, at first seem separate, that is what is creating the next level of the separation. The ‘me and other’. This is where I am now, though I am beginning to realise there isn’t ‘just me’ there should be another at this level to. (it is like I am discovering the ‘twin’ at each level). So somehow.. this Independent Consciousness Reality Experience… is not so ‘independent’….
Ok,, the consciousness might not be… though the Reality Experience must be otherwise….hmmm…. Somehow last night I was sensing him.
Consciousness…. Experiences an Independent Reality Experience (where I am now). This is then experiencing a Self Reality Experience (Lou), which is having a Form Reality Experience (physical inc body)
The awakening then happens going backwards through these starting with Form. Yet,, that consciousness is in fact experiencing two Independent Reality Experiences. The ‘twins’. So whilst there has been an illusion of, not separation but independence, there has always been two (or however many) going on. Thus when awakening they are realising there are two.. not one.. (not YET).
So where does this leave me now.. after working this out. Ok.. what I am becoming aware of that that when I am sensing T in this way I am in fact sensing either his SRE or his IRE. Though I am sensing that through the same consciousness that is in fact having both IRE. So I could be sensing his SRE via his IRE, both at the same time, looking ‘down’ through and into that IRE and seeing the other experiences happening within it. Hence its not inside me or outside. So then….
Are the ‘independent’ realities actually happening on the same ‘spot’ or over the top of each other? Are they playing at the same times overlapped and the consciousness is actually aware of both ‘playing’ at the same time? Thus showing that the so called Independent RE are not so independent! Again they are connected in the step beyond them. Or at least… there should be more than just one.. that there shouldn’t just ME alone.. that was the realisation I had.
What else would I call it but him… other. The him is simply from my awareness of the form/self that is male and masculine. The FRE and SRE. What would the IRE be. Is that Masculine… is that ‘him’ as in Black hair? Masculine aspect? Or just ‘other’ where masculine is just a way of expressing this? Most likely
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Written by Conscious Libre
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