They say most things come about through a 7 year cycle, well two of mine just hit the 7th year. Does that mean they ended, or are beginning to end? So this is my download, sifting through and sorting out. A summary of whats happened and whats what.
Firstly, its my birthday today, my 37th. My soul connection and spiritual path was slow and sluggish until I hit 30 which is the age I saw my connection, the person, but not in person (more on this in a bit). So not only is this the 7th year of my soul growth, but of the connection growth.
37 years of a slow death, is more like what it feels. An ultimate test or challenge? Cant believe its approaching 40.. I hope to be already dead and reborn by then! Gods… please…
It feels like I have been waiting for my last foot to finally drag itself over the finish line for the last several years as it is. A slow death, not painful.. but the slow demise is insufferable. Is there a need for it to be so long drawn out?
When the year started (or just at the end of 2017) I did a yearly long tarot read, something I dont usually do. I prefer to read on the current now and situations happening as I see future readings to be some what pointless.
Jan – June seemed to be somewhat amazing, followed swiftly in July – Sept with a mega crash into loss and despair.
So far (as per my previous post) Jan – March have been fantastic. Oddles of growth, understanding, perspective, the whole lot.
April started of that way, energy shifts of which I have never felt before.
It was revealed in a dream that I do indeed have two.. ‘twin’ flames. Blergh.. ermm Triple Flames, that we are Triple Flames. As discovered on a hidden old red tablet in some ancient writing. The reading of which shocked me lucidity.
(Before I go on, I should note that my understanding of this connection is no longer really like the common concept. The same soul is not shared. They are two or more souls who are coming together to jointly create and share a state of being. Rather like sharing a house, moving into together.. in this case its an energetic state of consciousness.)
I have had knowledge of there being two since I was in my mid to late teens. My Story (soul memory highlights) included two, as have many dreams and intuition of there being two whom of which I have the exactly same state with.
End of March into April I had a realising that would have had me in a state of anger, guilt and most likely self hate… thank god I am past all that!
During a nightly, not quite a dream expression of some inner stuff it is revealed to this aspect of me that who I thought was my twin wasnt. In my opinion this could of been done in a nicer way rather then the mocking, taking fun in your horrified and pained reaction way it was.
This was no surprise to the mental and emotional/awake self, who already knew this (as per last post or two). Thought it seemed this heart centred self still believed it. Or at least, there was a lot that hadnt yet been released. The pain of realising that within, which was never expressed.
Yes, I had questions that it opened so I set about doing some exploring to tie off those loose ends. I was pleased to realise that it was a simply releasing of the past. Most likely the thing I felt was ‘wrong’ and blocked off my heart yet for years could never find. It was so well hidden and there were no mental or emotional flags to follow. I knew something was there but, had no thread to follow.
This lead to questions of the deceit over this and if my first decade of merging was ‘real’. This is were I became to feel worry and not wanting to hear it was all deceit. A deceit by a manipulative spirit. Of course it was all entirely legit and real, with my First Flame, just not the human I thought. He was just a catalyst via dreams and well placed signs and syncs to make me turn within.
One thing I LOVE about my path.. is that I have NO physical human that I have met, that I can confuse relationship and love with soul connection. Is this just love, or a true connection.. I dont have to worry about that as it is all only ever 5D+. So I know these connections are real.. the issue has been with connecting them internally to the 3D. Seeing them expressed here. Hence the pain of realising, not wanting to release this first catalyst as such.
Now, my second flame is what is connecting to this very physical and human person. The first was purely energetic with no human traits. Well, that physical and human person is just a mask, a physical manifested front for the being behind it.. THAT is my connection, my other Flame.
I actually dreamt about this last night..
Three beings on a field, emerging from a line of trees. Two humans and a non-human. They do not emerge together but apart, telling that they did not travel here together. I can hear a narrator, saying that they are drawn to this (tower/mountain) that inside they can feel the rest of themselves.
So where does this leave me? In one sense, much progress has been made this year alone. In other.. still in the same place. Everything is changing but isnt. I could tell myself that things need to change on other levels before it manifests here. Yes, this is in a way true, yet I, no 3D has been stuck for so long its hard to know or see there being another way anymore.
