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A Personal Exploration of Spirituality & Life

All or Nothing

I have been doing a lot of work on my reality, my path. There has been so much progress and whilst I am thankful of that, I have still been ‘plagued’ by this constant ‘issue’

Now I realise isn’t an issue per say, but an inability to function due to being overwhelmed by something. I say ‘something’ as I believe this is my 8 swords, being blinded, unable to see.

Now either the overwhelming is causing me to be blinded to what I am overwhelmed by, or I am blinded and that is causing the overwhelmed feeling due to the uncertainty.

It comes down to my mental understanding of how the physical world comes into play with the greater picture. Or, I should say, IF it does at all.

Yes, I admit… this has been me running. It is hard to understand as I have no physical anything to run from, as it hasnt been physical yet, so I am lacking the forms to help me understand the exact issue of my lack of function, hence I have been falling back on my old issue with anxiety being the cause.

This inability is something like the inability to form the process to make a decision. Best way I can describe it is that I am in a room. If there was just one door then I would have no issues… yet imagine there are 8 doors though I am unable to choose ONE door. I have to choose all of them, or nothing.. like I have to find a way to go through them all.. or continue to stand in the room.

This the best way I can understand the feeling. In fact, it helps alot. Maybe it isn’t about making a decision, but understanding the greater ability to choose all at once. For all I know, opening one door might open them all. Going through one, might be going through them all.

A greater understanding. Perception. Ok.. least I have made some headway.

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