I am sat here in the garden eating my ice cream. It is sunny and warm, so a great day to sit and ponder true fulfilment.
So What Is Not Working?
In doing so, I am realising that my own personal projects are the only way to feel truly fulfilled, content, successful in life, spiritually and in self. Not in the way of power, money, ‘giving to society’ and ‘being useful’. As an AuDHDer with PDA I have realised that this will never be a thing I can do. I tried, it didn’t work and I spiralled hard. I didn’t fail, it didn’t fail, we are simply incompatible. (Though let us be honest, it is hardly ‘healthy’ way to be).
Doing for the sake of doing never fills any holes. It is an empty gesture that just promotes a sense of boredom and worthlessness. ‘What is the point’? Those type of questions. It just makes the emptiness instead feel that much more noticeable. It seems to prove what we feel, that life is meaningless and things are worthless.
Importance is also not a reason. If something requires the Importance factor as the only reason to do it… its not really ‘good for us’. It is something we do completely out of ego and for egos sake.
‘Important’ is very 3d concept. It is an implied sense of value and (dramatic) urgency based on a very 3D sense of human fear, survival and need/want. The sense of urgency gives us a sense of ourselves being important, being needed, having purpose.. a need which only comes about when we feel we lack them. Which in turn, comes from the sense that we need them to start with. Why? Anything to fill that void, the emptiness. Most dare not acknowledge the feeling is there, deep in their centre.
The feeling that THEY don’t exist.
True value and fulfilment comes from within.
The answer is actually a lot smaller, simpler and less dramatic.
It is the real value we find in the smaller, personal and easy things. Not the value in anything else, as stated by another or a value to another. So where does this value come from? Better question. What is value?
What we do should only help support who/what we are, to do. It should fit as a harmonious extension of our motion whilst fitting seamlessly into the worlds motion. We should never be a foundation for something else’s existence to the point it takes from ourselves and becomes ‘more important’. We are living, sentient beings, not a means to an end.
So, from a spiritual fulfilment perspective, ‘missions’ and ‘purpose’ kind of fall away. There is none. They are not needed. As everything already is. It is all meant to be. Going as meant to be. So why some big dramatic important mission or purpose? Our ego thinks there should be one. Why? As everything ‘needs’ to have a point, purpose and reason to exist. Because the ego needs to prove it exists. To give is a good enough reason to exist, a purpose for its existence. To show it needs to exist, is worthy to exist.
There is none. There is just life, existing, being. No reason or excuse or need for it to be. It just is.
Sometimes, there isn’t a ‘why’. The answer is the question itself. The question answers itself.
True fulfilment, success, peace, happiness, contentment comes from what we truly are and being that. Nothing else is needed for that. Just to be and exist as our highest self.
Everything else then becomes workings from within our own being. Thus the simple and easy things brings about all we need. There is no more need for purpose, meaning or importance.
Everything is to simple be, the meaning simple is.
